Just for a bit of fun, I've slapped together a little AJAXy mashup of British pubs on Google Maps using data from Beer in the Evening. Go and have a poke at pubmap.cabal.org.uk and see what you think.]]>
[...] Rob Brydon != fun.He's OK as a guest, but makes a very poor chairman. Over the years the chairmen have been Humphrey Lyttelton, Barry Cryer, Jack Dee, Stephen Fry and Rob Brydon, with Humph quite rightly being everybody's favourite.
I'm disappointed they've decided to carry on, maybe one series to see if they could get it to work - but that should have told them no to any more, or at least a complete rethink about how to go about it.Last night's show was actually a scripted stage performance rather than a recording for later broadcast, and it was at least 70% recycled. It was a mistake to have Rob deliver Humph's material, as Rob just doesn't have the timing and the material came out flat. I suspect most people were still hearing Humph's voice in their head, having heard the material before.
Just for a bit of fun, I've slapped together a little AJAXy mashup of British pubs on Google Maps using data from Beer in the Evening. Go and have a poke at pubmap.cabal.org.uk and see what you think.Note that it is really quick and dirty, most definitely not an example of good Perl code, and I suggest you create a scratch LJ account to test it against first.
This is just an advance warning that there is some fine drinking going on over at the Wenlock Arms at the end of this month. The Wenlock is reviewed here on Improvable Tripe, the Randomness Guide to London, and RBW's Beerdiary. Summary: it's a good'un.
The beer festival seems to have escaped review, but if the 2006 one was any guide, it's rather fine. It's also awfully popular, oddly enough, so if you want a seat, arrive early.
It is extremely likely that ASRBrum and ASRLon will be holding a piss-up during the festival and thus for these purposes, Hoxton will be declared to be a suburb of Birmingham. To that end, I propose a joint ASR* meet-up to occur at the usual 2pm on Saturday 27th October. Be there, or stay sober. I have a small amount of crash space available.
Also, given that beer festivals start running a bit dry on the Saturday afternoon, I also propose a quick warm-up around 7pm on the Friday beforehand for those who happen to already work in the area and need a few pints of oblivion to forget their soul-crushing jobs.
So, anyway, there is your pen, which mainly looks like a panda mistook it for a piece of bamboo. Hang on, there was your pen, but where is it now? Somebody's deliberately taken it. After all, they couldn't possibly have mistaken it for their pen. You'd have to be a habitual criminal kleptomaniac to steal something like that. Who might it be? Perhaps it's Tone Deaf Humming Man. Or Tobacco Stench Girl, currently absent supposedly for a smoke, but possibly even right now down the pawn shop trying to sell your pen to support their drug habit. Everybody is a potential suspect and half way to HR to borrow their polygraph machine to use on the whole office, you spot something familiar out of the corner of your eye. Yes, it's your pen! And the chaplain is holding it, having absent-mindedly picked it up when hit with the muse. When quizzed, the chaplain sheepishly hands it back and apologies profusely. Really, you can't trust anybody these days.
Triumphantly returning to your desk, you notice fresh teethmarks, and lob it into the bin in disgust. But the beancounters require a requisition form in triplicate to get a new pen, so you just borrow the pen from the bloke next to you who has just gone out to lunch…
Clearly, there is something about pens that cause honest people to turn into mindless thieves. Catalogue shops use special small pens and pencils to try to mitigate the shrinkage, but if you were to turn your average Argos customer upside down and give them a good shake, several dozen pens would fall out (as well as a 9ct chunky gold chain, half an ounce of weed and somebody else's wallet.)
So what is to be done? Solving the pen-theft problem in general is even more intractable than world peace, but you can at least do your bit by stopping your pen being stolen and thus eliminate the reason for you to steal somebody else's. So here's the secret:
Cheap fountain pens are unstealable and are returned when “borrowed”, so get one and use it exclusively as your main pen.
Allow me to explain.
Since almost everybody writes with a ball-point pen, a fountain pen feels very alien. They will remember where this extraterrestrial item came from and return it immediately after use. In some cases they enjoy the writing experience so much that they go and buy their own fountain pen and discover the secret of unstealability and reduce the pen theft problem further.
Left-handers will often complain that it's not possible for them to write with a fountain pen and it's all an evil right-handed conspiracy and how could I possibly be so thoughtless as to own a tool of their oppression, and hand it back without even giving it a try. I will usually counter by writing a sample sentence with my left hand, much to their astonishment. The results do admittedly resemble a spider's death throes after having half-drowned in the inkwell, but that is in fact my normal handwriting.
Cheap is important because while it might be unstealable, it's not unbreakable or unlosable. An expensive fountain pen will just reignite the kleptomaniac tendencies in your cow-orkers again. Besides, you really wouldn't want the pen back after they've orked a cow with it.
Prefer a pen that takes ink cartridges. The cartridges are relatively expensive at about three quid a pack, but much more convenient and far less messy than sucking ink through the nib. You can always use a converter if you find you want or need to use raw ink.
Metal-cased pens are much better than plastic-cased pens and not all that much more expensive. My ugly plastic pen that I keep as a spare was about eight pounds and the rather pretty brushed-aluminium one I normally use was all of twelve. Not only are the the metal ones much more attractive to look at, but the plastic ones tend to suffer stress fractures and crack after a while especially if they're being nibbled, possibly causing bluetits to go with the bluetongue. Rolled steel just doesn't taste nice and it's murder on the fillings. The only mouth-related fun you're going to have with it is to suck on the end or trap your lips in the pocket clip which is actually much more fun than it sounds.
For more useful information, see the Wikipedia article on “Fountain pen”.
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Wenlock Arms
26 Wenlock Road N1 7TA
Tel.: (020) 7608 3406
Nearest Tube: Old Street
Sick of the endless identkit plastic pubs full of plastic people drinking plastic drinks that plague London, we are always up for an unusual and authentic old fashioned boozer with good beer and local colour.
The Wenlock Arms is about five minutes' walk from Old Street tube station, and nestles behind some intimidating council tower blocks and past an industrial unit in a quiet corner of Hoxton that the Nathan Barleys of the world tend not to visit. It is an accomodating little pub, even tolerating Nathan, but he should not overstay as he is not really welcome. This is a Local Pub For Local People, and that is to be commended.
The pub is full of fun local character, with an East End accent much in evidence. Mirror adverts cover the walls and a healtly selection of pump clips adorn the bar to show the variety of beers that have been offered recently. The slightly tired carpet and scuffed base of the bar show that many people have visited the place over the years. A menu sits on the fireplace with, alas, a speaker promising karaoke or other music. It is not in operation on this quiet Monday evening. Other evenings later in the week have live entertainment which is reputedly excellent, and you may wish to check the Wenlock's website for full listings.
The obscured menu promises “Veg Pasty. Meat Pasty”—the kind of meat left unsaid—then a crossed-out "por"—pork what? Oh well, we can't have it anyway—then "saus–" and "hot san–". Clearly “traditional” pub fare, i.e. still stuck somewhere in the 1970s. If it does other food, it was not being advertised. The bar snacks were more interesting in that they included biltong on top of the usual crisps and nuts.
There was more than a little amusement amongst the regulars as to a pint of lager found on the bar. Presumably somebody ordered it, but they were evidently too embarassed to collect it. Over the next hour, the locals tried to palm the damn thing off onto anybody who walked in, but everybody had the good taste to decline. It was loudly noted that this was not the kind of pub that lager drinkers would visit. About an hour later, it was finally quietly disposed of, undrunk.
Listening in, and joining in, to the local banter was very pleasant and entertaning. They're a friendly bunch in the Wenlock. The beers change frequently. The beers we tasted were Old Spot (5.4%, £2.80), Adnams Tally Ho (7.0%, £3.00), Acorn Darkness (4.2%, £2.80) and Liefmans Kriek (£3.80/pint). All were well-kept and the Kriek was a nice find in a bitter-drinker's paradise.
The Wenlock Arms hosts an annual beer festival in September or October which is always very popular.
(This article was previously published in the Londonist.)